Good grief, my daughter has just successfully passed the driver’s test for her Learner’s Permit. Let me tell you, that news should strike fear into your soul. Well at least until she completes her Young Driver’s program. I discovered it is much better for everyone if you just leave this difficult task to the experts. I did allow her to drive a few circles around the local Mall parking lot one evening and am still recovering from ‘Shaken Mommy’ syndrome. I am sure she will get the hang of the brake and gas pedals eventually…hopefully!

I am from the generation where my parents did everything themselves. Certainly they were very capable but in hind sight, I think mostly it was to avoid ever spending any money. Over all, this forced self-sufficiency has been a positive influence on my life in that I have had to learn nay, invent! many weird and questionably necessary skills. Yes, I can expertly deal with a glut of zucchini, stuffed animals and/or broken crayons, change a tire or light fixture and/or create a Halloween costume from a cardboard box, two straws and a roll of duct tape but I can also fish a toothpaste cap out of a u-bend without removing the pipe and one time I even figured out how to re-hang a loose door hinge with a bottle of glue and a wooden chopstick! So basically lots of stuff in my wheelhouse of useless abilities and information but nothing to suggest I am qualified to teach the operation of a ‘motorized vehicle of death’ to my own flesh and blood. Anyway, this brings me back around to the whole driving lesson affair. I was thinking that the process to get your Driver’s License has become more involved and new measures are now in place to actually become a proficient driver over the course of a year before attempting even the first of two mandatory road tests. I think these changes have been a very positive improvement! When I was 16 I think you just needed 100 hours of driving practice before you could take your test but most of my friends took their road tests after a month of driving Mom and Dad to the grocery store. Were they competent? Doubtful, but there you go, for some reason, parents are still allowed to teach their kids how to drive and while this questionable privilege is fraught with all manner of situations that could go very badly, my aforementioned ‘can-do’ parents just took it for granted that it was their right to save a buck and do it themselves, bad habits be damned! These days, with all the new precautions in place it doesn’t really make sense to allow this custom to continue.

For instance, we are pre-disposed to assume our kids don’t know what they are doing and when it comes to driving, they actually DON’T know what they are doing and so constantly pointing out that they don’t know what they’re doing during the driving practice can be extremely distracting for both parties. And then I tend to get very nervous in situations where I could die if a mistake is made so I can be a bit tense and shriek-y when not in control of the steering wheel and then there is the crazy reality that in my case, my daughter doesn’t seem to be able to manage simple instructions (please clean the bathroom, fold the laundry, tidy your room) and yet somehow I have to make the leap she will, ‘stay in your lane’ … ‘Stay In Your Lane!’… STAY IN YOUR LANE!!!! when I calmly instruct (shriek) at her to do so…? I have already aged 10 years just writing this post. And so, I will defer this mammoth task to the professionals. I don’t think I have any more hair left that hasn’t already turned grey and I am not quite ready yet to go white.

To all you new driver parents, I wish you patience, serenity and may I suggest lots and lots of deep yoga breaths during this challenging time.

Good luck!

Hearts and Hogs!