Is it Safe to Come out Yet?

By January 11, 2021 Uncategorized No Comments

So, just a week or so into 2021 and it feels pretty much exactly the same so I am not ready to make any pronouncements about the ‘improved’ quality of this new year just yet. But, as they say – early days – so stay tuned for updates!

In the meantime, I thought it might be fun to make some predictions about the year to come;

As the vaccine situation rolls out around the globe and everyone gets in line for this life-saving miracle of medicine, I really hope someone’s side effects include Superhero powers like X-ray vision or maybe ultra sonic speed or hey, I’m easy, how about, the ability to drive properly!

Wedding and Graduation Season this year will be fully on-line and you can simply create an event profile and click your avatar into wardrobe, location and theme. Like virtual paper dolls but better! You can invite celebrities, hire professional singers or the whole VSO for the entertainment and stage the ceremony and reception in any historic building or site around the world. And you can keep crazy Aunt Becky busy and undisruptive by seating her at a table with Antonio Banderas.

Summer camping season will see more of Joe Public searching for off-grid, socially distant camping sites in more and more remote areas of the Province which may have the unfortunate consequence of Search and Rescue units working over-time to save lost hikers and that will lead to more people in the forest and wildlife sightings might include the Sasquatch which could bring him into the limelight where-by he will start a path down a long sad road of celebrity status, substance abuse and his ultimate extinction from the planet. Yikes, that tangent went sideways fast… never mind – Save Big Foot, Camp in your Back Yard!

Home Improvement projects will level up! Stand by for the resurgence of the home-built bunker, party rooms with plexi-glass pods to safely entertain up to 10 guests and anybody who’s anybody will be showing off their new, fully-automated decontamination entry shower! Can I get a woot! woot!

Real Estate prices for land will soar in Baffin Island, Northern Yukon and Antarctica.

Eye make-up sales on the rise while lipstick sales plummet.

The sell-out Halloween costume of the year will be the ‘sexy’ Hazmat suit not to be confused with the ever-popular ‘sexy’ nurse costume modified for 2021 with all the latest PPE equipment.

And finally, the ‘must-have’ Christmas toy of 2021 will be a new board game called Insurrection: host your own coup! A fun new way to get together over Zoom. You and 100,000 of your friends can create Twitter content, inflammatory messaging to send to illegitimate news feeds and test your DIY skills with the pitch fork and placard making tutorial. The laughs never end as the player with the most outrageous conspiracy theory gets to go to jail! Yep, super fun

… do you think if we’re all very, very quiet and just tiptoe around for the next few months, the bad energy will just go away and try to find some other solar system to torture?

It might work…

Good luck and have a safe year.