Say Cheese!

Here’s a little earworm for you. You’re welcome.

If you’re coughing and you know it, hold the phone
If you’re sickly and you know it, rest alone
If you’re aching and your shaking, and your head is close to baking
Then you prob’ly got the Covid, Stay at Home!

Think it will catch on in Kindergarten classes this Fall? Just remember, ya heard it here first folks!

Yes, I am still coming to you live from semi-quarantine. I wrote that little ditty during one of many 10 minute ‘breaks’ from work. It is weird (for me) sitting in front of the computer all day. While it’s true my job is pretty evenly divided between ‘field work’ and paperwork, these days agents are opting to use more virtual tools to keep contact to a minimum so I spend quite a lot of time scrolling through listings, reading through mountains of ‘pertinent’ property information and watching presentation videos …ya, those are weird, I mean what music is really appropriate to accompany zooming in and out on a bathroom fixture? Whose job is it even to decide what emotion stainless kitchen appliances should convey and what lighting will best focus attention on that?

Does the average consumer even care?

These 3 or 4 minute clips tend to be utilitarian but not very interesting. Some videographers try but you can tell they don’t have much in the way of an art background I mean, seriously, a flower arrangement fade to black isn’t really award-winning, nevermind inspirational cinematography dude. But I guess the ‘art film’ doesn’t have any place in property photography…or does it?

I started to daydream about what an Andy Warhol directed home tour would look like and I’ve decided he’d probably shoot the same room with 4 different colour filters, plaster a Campbell’s Soup label over the screen and call it a day.

Dali would definitely have a fish flying around pointing to the home’s extremely ornate dining room mirrors or Italian porcelain toilets and every room view would just melt off the screen to segue to the next.

MC Esher’s highlights reel could feature all the staircases leading into each other and the accompanying floor plan would be even more confusing.

Maybe Da Vinci might include the Mona but she would be set inside an exceedingly outdated living room with lime green shag carpet and royal blue flocked fleur de lis wallpaper which will have the added advantage of making her famous smirk completely warranted.

And I think Ruban would showcase scantily clad Renaissance woman draped over all the master suite furniture with millions of tiny cupid babies swinging from the light fixtures.

Fun yes, but I guess you would still be left wondering exactly what the house looked like… at least you would be entertained. And that is what happens with a wasted Fine Arts degree….

So concludes my latest work delay WAAAY off tangent for WAAAY to long. I shall now return to my property searches and send you all off to what I am sure are far more pressing matters. Tune in next month for my latest trip to Stallsville, Procrastination Station, population…me.