How are we in February already? The days just fly by although I am happy I can see across the street at 5 PM in the evening now. Yes, the longer days are slowly returning and we look forward to all the events of a brand new year.
Like cleaning house…
The other day I was doing the ‘Mom thing’ and with no ulterior motive in mind, went through each of my children’s rooms looking for dirty dishes, clothes and other vermin attracting minutiae that is generally associated with the bottom layer of every messy bedroom on the planet. We have had issues with critters in the past and so now I am ever vigilant to the warning signs of an infestation in the making. I am typical of most home wardens and every weekend generally starts off with one or all of the following commands; clean your room, clean your bathroom, bring me all the laundry you have been stuffing down behind your bed etc. I am amazed that the scenario has seldom changed over the years and even more dumbfounded that I am hopeful enough to expect anything more! (we really see our children through rose coloured glasses). However, despite my ministrations, from time to time a hands on approach is still necessary. That said, I entered my son’s room and just about wept at the sight of the disarray that met me and quickly got to work collecting at least the garbage.
I know, you will all be shaking your heads and tut-tutting my mother hen moves that are clearly, ‘not going to foster any sense of responsibility in that kid!’ But as I felt the possibility of discovering the grisly remains of some long forgotten Christmas dinner was very real, I forged on. Would you believe I extracted not one but TWO garbage bags full of just cans! Seriously…they were everywhere, I even came across a suitcase containing a stash of what I assume is his contraband beer collection nestled amongst an additional two-four of…you guessed it, empty cans! (I will just insert here that most of the cans had previously contained pop or juice. While some cans had been for lager and his personal favorite- IPA, I didn’t feel the need to hustle him over to our nearest chapter of AA) But, I digress…
Seriously, what?? How can a person even move through a sea of aluminum so large that upsetting a pile could quite literally cause a shift in magnetic North (wrong kind of metal I know, but you get my drift). So, ever a teaching moment, I left the bags of recycling outside his door to discover upon his return and reflect on his disgraceful mismanagement of room maintenance. His reaction was mind-boggling if not a true illustration of his priorities. He accused me of invading his privacy and crossing a line as a parent in discovering his illegal liquor stash.
As he was railing on and on about my shocking lack of boundaries, I calmly reminded him that he had shown me some time ago that he did indeed have a few bottles of beer in his room (as far as I am concerned, it’s a right of passage, judge away). Anyway, I actually had to direct his attention to the mountain of detritus that I had exhumed from his room and enquire what his explanation for this atrocity was. Needless to say, the bluster quickly went out of his scathing tirade to be replaced by a smirk, sheepish apology and a vow to ‘do better’. Ha, I’ll believe that when I see it!
Well, the money collected from the empties paid for a pizza dinner and his unbelieveable ability to take credit for this happy outcome despite the repulsive and what should have been embarrassing provenance of the cash.
I am still shaking my head. Teenagers!
Stay sharp out there my friends, all manner of filth is just waiting to take you by surprise.