So lately I have been made aware that something or more accurately, some animal has moved into my attic. I am tremendously curious about what exactly it or they are doing. Yes, probably hiding out from winter but whatever it is, it is being really, really industrious and I am fairly sure it is building something up there. The racket coming out from under my eaves involves, not just the soft pitter patter of shuffling feet but tapping, scratching, rustling and an ominous digging sound. These impossibly loud goings-on above the ceiling in the dining room commence right around the dinner hour so we all freeze in our seats, turn toward the southwest corner of the room and stare, expecting some fully anthropomorphized, miner’s lamp wearing, fur bearing creature to come cascading through the plaster in a cloud of dust and debris.
Unfortunately this means I will need to venture up to the roof and see what is going on and figure out where said varmint is gaining access to the area and then sealing the opening preferably with said critter on the exterior of my home.
You know, I am all for learning new skills and yay me when it comes to being a fully competent human being capable of all manner of odd jobs and ‘stuff’ but sometimes, there are situations that come up that I just don’t want to deal with. This particular task involves two of my least favorite things; heights and small, cob-webby spaces. I can manage closing up the holes or cracks but I am not excited to climb a ladder to the top of my house from the outside nor am I looking forward to clearing out the jammed packed closet inside the room that contains the only interior access to the aforementioned space. Not to mention my absolute certainty that the attic will be full of the decomposed remains of past mammals and their fetid housing leftovers.
You may be wondering why I don’t just call up the Rat Patrol (or whatever company they are) well I will tell you… a while back I found myself in need of this very same professional service (don’t worry, different house) with a qualified exterminator and the person arrived at my house in a serious but innocuous looking vehicle (we certainly can’t advertise to the neighbours the shame we are hiding within our walls). They entered my home with a tool box of massive proportions, all the while explaining to me the mating habits of the common house rat and how important it was to determine egress points, keep food items secure and then outlining his 35 point inspection and remediation process. He set up his ladder, opened the attic hatch and after an avalanche of shredded insulation and rat droppings poured out over him and the hallway floor, quickly baited, set and positively threw three mega-sized rat traps into the opening, closed the door and scrabbled out of the house so fast, the dust was still settling on the carpet while his van was half way down the alley. All this and NO more for $350 thanks very much.
So this time around? I think we’ll just get a cat.