Attention! attention! a major event is happening at my house. My oldest is graduating from high-school! In the past I have made fun of the excessive celebrations of mediocre achievements that have become de rigueur in recent years. And, in my house, these ceremonies are generally accompanied by a rant along the lines of “…grade 6 graduation isn’t a thing! why do you need a new outfit? why do I have to pay for a dinner? who’s idea is this anyway?”
My kids roll their eyes and ignore me, quietly accepting the cash for said events without agitating me further (yes I pay, I can’t not participate or my kids would be pariahs). But in my world, the culmination of the first significant obligation of their childhood is an Event and deserves recognition. Woop Woop!
We are, to say the least, proud. And, if I am being honest, surprised! My kid is a very confident, chatty, social beast with the capacity for good, if not great success. Sadly, ‘hard-work’ seems to rank on his priority list somewhere near ‘take out the garbage’ and by that I mean, below the bottom. I was gearing myself up to accept my first-born embracing the exciting profession of napping with a possible back up career in binge potato chip ingestion. But I guess that isn’t entirely fair, he has shown some aptitude for drama and not just the actual academic variety. Anyhoo, he has invited the appropriate family members, purchased extra tickets, bought and pressed a suit, cap and gown, sorted the prom-posal, organised the bling-y ride, even arranged the after-party and all I had to do; was pay.
Then, just this week, after I inquired about the timing for their limo pick up and when I could expect the rest of his crew for a short congratulatory hug and a round of snaps …can you believe he actually had the nerve to ask, “what’s with your obsession to take photos before the prom?!” Obsession?! wha? excuse me?? You ungrateful cad of a son, those photos represent a lifetime of diapers, vomitous childhood ailments, endless volunteering for dumb macaroni projects, sushi rolling, pizza slinging, sitting for hours doing nothing in the PARK…the park! I am owed one photo of a clean, well turned quasi-adult on the brink of metamorphosis into an actual human being. Are you kidding me?? Yeesh, clearly the area of the brain that houses empathy has not yet developed in this child. I am so happy he will be going to school away…did I say that out loud? (you know what I mean.) and breathe….
To quote another successful son, ‘Sunny ways my friends.’
To all the grads in my life, I wish you great happiness, an exciting future and all the best kind of opportunity and luck you can grab!
Mazel Tov!